After P’Eatzza…America now has…err….pancake-cum-sausage-cum-chocolate chip!

America never ceases to amaze me with their ceaseless innovations.

This is a great random blog to kill more brain cells, btw. And I’m reading it! Lazy Saturday! Whoohoo!

I’ve done it. I’ve signed up for CFA Level II for June 2007.

Don’t know why I torture myself so. Maybe for this feeling. I just have to concentrate on the fact that I -want- to do it and I -want- to learn. Yes I do.

I create the possibility of brilliance for Level II.

On impulse, we decided to have a BBQ dinner yesterday at home. And since home is a 59 sq. meter flat with no balcony, we fired up our new S$12.90 hibachi grill on our 1.5m wide common corridor. It’s probably not allowed by HDB rules, but we were actually inspired by many of our neighbors who love to burn incense/paper and display food for prayers along the common corridor during the Hungry Ghost festival. It was really fun, cuddling up outside the corridor and firing up some food. We thank our very patient neighbours (we asked if it was fine, cos it was getting a bit smokey and would have immediately quashed the idea had they been unhappy about it, but they were fine with it apparently).

Again.

I get all the Asian celebrities… but Laura Linney???? Mariah????

I fell down while running for the bus this morning.

It was a great fall, I tell ya! Shoes flying up! Bag skidding 2m in front of me! Body splats! The works! I haven’t fallen like that since Oct 2002 in Berkeley (I love my blog for references like that). It was the bloody heels that did me in this time.

I have ran for the bus many a morning. Each time, I knew I was tempting fate, with the uneven ground and heels. So it was merely an inevitable thing (as my 2002 fall was). The good thing was that I fell at the carpark behind a block of flats (bus-stop is in front of it), so the only people that saw me fall were 2 old women, 2 kids with them and a man parking his bike that promptly guffawed when he saw my classic splat. I don’t blame him. I’m cracking myself up just thinking of it.

I picked myself and my ego up, hobbled towards the bus-stop and saw my bus approaching…started running again! Of all days, I’d be damned if I didn’t catch this one! I bloody fell for this!!

I limped up the bus with a stinging knee and a bruised toe…the sense of truimph was overwhelming.

Fuckin’ toe hurts like a motherfucker right now tho’…

A sequal to my previous post about Romancing Singapore.

I just received an email from a xxx@mcys.gov.sg. MCYS means Ministry of Community Development, Youth and Sports. They probably got my email when I registered our marriage.

Are you ready to make LOVE happen?

How would you like to experience an idyllic sunset, gentle breeze, starry nights, gourmet spread, hot salsa dance and learn couple-massage techniques with your loved one – all for only $60?

No calls, no crowd, no stress. Just savour the magical heart-to-heart moments with your loved one. Enjoy the idyllic sunset and light gentle breeze. And fall in love with your spouse all over again under the starry sky, at the high seas, on the sleek Harbour Queen vessel.

Join us as we present Make LOVE Happen – a Marriage Enrichment and Fertility Awareness Programme – to excite your imagination with valuable tips and ideas, when put into practice, will enable you to enjoy a fulfilling marriage with the love of your life.

…you and your spouse will be entertained, enlightened and inspired as you learn exciting new ways to revitalize your marriage and rekindle a sense of romance. So, why wait? Register now for this sumptuous treat of healthy marriage recipe, hot salsa dance, message techniques and gourmet spread.

Register NOW! For more information, visit www.alife.org.sg, or call 6325 6030.

This event is supported by the National Family Council and the Ministry of Community Development, Youth and Sports.

I love the underlying tone of doom. “fall in love with your spouse all over again…” (read: you are not in love now); “valuable tips and ideas, when put into practice, will enable you to enjoy a fulfilling marriage with the love of your life” (read: you don’t have a fulfilling marriage); “REvitalize…REkindle a sense of romance” (read: you have no life, no romance in your marriage…oh, and you have no clue how to fuck).

Mainly, my government sending me an email seeking to teach me massage techniques. I’m quite freaked out.

I’d really like to go for this cruise tho’. Only 60 bucks for a couple, sunset cruise, food, creepy massage lessons from my govt…not too bad a deal. I’d definitely bring a camera, take some notes and do a report…

alife teaches us…you should check the slideshow out. It’s got the greatest ending

Language schools in Singapore love white people – fact.

Pat teaches at a language school in Singapore. He’s been offered jobs from other language schools. These schools mostly have kids from Southeast Asia, Korea, China and Russia. They like white people, clearly on basis on an ‘image’ for their clients, not so much on ability to teach. And then, to mask the request for “white people only”, they use the euphemism “native speakers only”.

Amin is now in Singapore. He’s kinda checking the place out and seeing if he can temp over here. Amin, as you have seen, doesn’t look white even though he’s half white (half Palestinian). But he’s born and bred in America, and sure as hell speaks like one. So we knew it was gonna be a trip with these language school just because, we don’t hide it, the way he looks just doesn’t fit the mental image these language school administrators have of what an “American” or “Native speaker” is supposed to look like.

The following is an sms conversation between Pat and a language school lady (I like how the language school administrators have really shitty English as well). Lady had talked to Amin on the phone, but contacted Pat to ask if he was a “native speaker”. Of course Pat knew what she was getting at but just wanted to weed it outta her:

Pat: I don’t understand your question. What do you mean by “native”?
Lady: Got a call from your friend. Is he native as in caucasian as in look like you and david (David is his blond Aussie fellow teacher)? Any other friends for recommendation? I may need more than 1.
Pat: He is not a native american, nor am i; although I do have native american blood in my veins. He was born in america, as was i.
Lady: As in white? Looks like you and david? Cos that’s what the students are expecting.

We find it funny more than offensive because it seems to come from simple ignorance rather than malicious racism. The funniest thing about using the term “native” interchangeably with “white” is that a “native” in America pretty much means “Native American”, who definitely do not look “white”. The irony kills us.

Yarrrghhh!!!

It’s the International Talk Like A Pirate Day! You know what to do then, mate!

taken at 7-11 in airport b4 heading to Krabi, July 06, when I bought eye patches as eye shields post-LASIK.

taken in 2004 at Tahoe. Our true pirate Andre and Amin.

My brother forwarded this link to me. It’s a truly excellent and heartfelt essay written by Colin Goh and his wife. Everyone should read it.

(exerpt) …And no doubt it was the Dream, fueled by hard work and courage, that has made Singapore the indisputable commercial success it is today. And our story is a wonderful one: the Little Island That Could.

However, invariably once people attain success, they start to canonize the steps they took to achievement. This is how Dreams become Plans, and how one hegemony replaces another: the search for peace and liberty becomes get into a good school, then a good university, then a stable job, then buy property and stock. The problem is, then what?

There is nothing inherently unique about the Singaporean Dream. The American Dream of life, liberty and the pursuit of happiness is substantially the same. (And especially in the upper middle class, the American Dream is fast becoming a Plan too: prep school, Ivy League, Wall Street.)

But what to me gives America more hope is that they still celebrate mavericks; they may never find happiness, but their liberty to pursue it is sacred.

My experience in Singapore was, however, very different. There were always people telling you what and how you should do things, and imposing penalties for deviation. There were ‘right’ schools, ‘right’ professions, ‘right’ strategies.

Of course there are those who would argue that ultimately, the choice is one’s own and that there is nothing to prevent one from doing what he or she wants in Singapore. After all, isn’t it one’s fault for caving in to peer pressure? I would humbly submit that while theoretically true, such an argument betrays an ignorance of the combined workings of hegemony and power.

The issue is how expansive the reigning ideology is. In Singapore, the dominant view is to do whatever works (whatever that may be, and regardless of who it worked for). In New York (I won’t pretend that America is homogeneous), the prevailing view is that everyone should find what makes him or herself unique, and capitalize on that.

I am never comfortable making any kind of US vs. Singapore comparisons because it seems too apples vs. oranges. There are so many excuses to make for Singapore when one does the xxx Western country vs. Singapore comparison: we don’t have the luxury of space (you can have a New York and a buttfuck Alabama in the same country) and population, we don’t have a long enough history, yadda yadda yadda. But, Colin and Joyceln make some very heartfelt arguments that I concur with. When Joyceln writes about overhearing conversations at work, I am reminded of the conversations I hear at work about children’s schools, how good/bad their maids are, where the latest sale is, where to buy the best mooncake, what car they have, which hawker center has the best chwee kuay, and the next packaged 5D/6N S$1,499 per person tour to Seoul they will take their kids, as I glaze my eyes over.

And yet, I have so much love for this country that made me; but Singapore has so much potential to be a truly vibrant place, the powers that be just have to STFU about it and let it happen and not try to Plan the Dream out in a set path.

Criticism and disagreement is not treason, and our words emanate as much from our dissatisfaction with, as our love for Singapore. We simply believe that we are more than our legacy. This is the dream of immigrants everywhere, whether they arrive in Singapore or on Ellis Island.

Guy at Pure, MOS, sits next to me

Guy: So…(points at Eileen and Ginny too)…are any of you girls single?
Me: (waves left hand) I’m married. But they aren’t!
Guy: Noooo…you look too young to be married!
Me: I’m 25
Guy: Noooo…you look 22, tops!
Me: Why, thank you. How old are you?
Guy: 19

ARRGGGHHHHH!!!! I just got hit on by a fucking 19 year old!! When I was 19, he was 13!!! EW!! ARRRGGGHHH!!!

It’s all downhill from now.

Otherwise, it was a good weekend for clubbing. I can’t remember a night out this year where I had a really good time dancing, but Groove Armada on Fri night at Zouk was really really fun; and music at Pure, MOS from 1:30-3am was really good…dirty garage house…nice. The Velvet-esque crowd still sucked though.