My surgery: Thursday, 29 June 06, 10am. I am not nervous at all, more excited. My parents/husband seem more nerved that I was.
I get there at 10am and wait pretty much till until noon. Bloody hell. Oprah is on TV. The show is on wearing jeans. People seem to get very excited about jeans. Go Oprah. Loads of people doing LASIK with Dr. Lee…it is almost like a factory procession, a constant flow of people going in, coming out, coming back for post-op check-up; it all made me feel better to know it was so common. It’s like watching flights land safely at the airport…hey! if so many planes land safely, chances are, my flight will land a-okay too!
At about 11am, nurse gives me my gift pack of eye drops, lorazepam (sleeping pill), guides and medical certificate and explains to me how to use the drops. Close to noon, it is my turn. She takes me to the darkened area of the lounge outside the operating theatre (there is already someone inside, and someone outside resting after her surgery…factory) and puts a white gown on me and a washing-cap hair thing and puts masking tape on the top to hold it in. Then I wait somemore.
Then I get called into the operating theatre and sit on a chair outside the actual operating table separated by a glass. You can see the HUGE machine inside. I wait a little while more and a nurse puts some numbing eye drops and another to “reduce the redness”. Nurse cleans my eye area with iodine. When the numbing starts, my eyelids feel heavy. Finally Dr. Lee comes in. I ask him about my options once again – Conventional or Wavefront, Blade-cut or Intralase. I feel better that he doesn’t try to sell me on the most expensive options. He hears my concerns (what is best for specifically my eyes? Cost isn’t an issue. I want tissue-saving, don’t wanna deal with night vision problems) and he thinks that Intralase will minimize those problems sufficiently, without the need for Wavefront due to my prescription. So we decide on Intralase/Conventional (S$2,090 per eye).
I have to change to another pair of slippers and walk to the operating theater and lay on the huge bed. It’s fucking cold. Lucky they put two blankets over me. I’m asked to lay down. It’s really happening now. Dr Lee says that he’ll do the Intralase to cut the flaps of my cornea first. He puts on the lid speculum which didn’t feel like anything at all. Mind you, prior to this I have done TONS of online research about LASIK and what to expect, from official websites to blog entries to braving the Youtube video on it (do NOT watch or even click on it if squimish…it took me 2 tries even to get through it) just so I know what is going on exactly (can you say control freak). From the video, the lid speculum part looked the worst, but actually didn’t feel like anything. The bed then rotates to another machine and the nurse goes “suction on” so I know it’s a suction. Despite Lasik reports, I also didn’t feel like the suction felt that bad at all. It took 20 seconds for the Intralase to make the flap. I only felt a very slight burning sensation. I start to shiver from the nerves and cold and grit my teeth to stop because Dr Lee keeps saying “stay still, don’t say a word, stay still, don’t move” There is a lot of countdown done by the nurses. “5-4-3-2-1-0″ and my eyes were cut.
Strangely, I am told to lay there and close my eyes before he adjusts the machine for the laser. I kinda thought I would have had to lay there with my eyes pried open after the flaps are cut. He takes quite some time. I wonder if it’s because he told me before hand that he’ll have 2 medical students in the room with us, if I didn’t mind. So I lay there and I’m starting to get nervous and shiver from the cold and nerves. I start to feel like an alien abductee and they are all looking at me and the machines to scrutinize how I work. And the bed swings again and Dr. Lee puts tape above and under my right eye to keep the lashes out. He tells me to look at the red light. There are 2, one blinking, one not. Which one? The blinking one he says. Then he touches the eye with something and takes another sharper thing to lift the flap. Trippy! The 2 red dots become a MASSIVE red blotch. I think it’s funny because all the reports say you have to concentrate on looking at the red dot and not move your eye. BUt my entire field of vision is covered by a massive red splotch! Where to look then? Dr Lee says look towards the top.
Nurse starts counting from 1 to 10 and I hear the same sound I hear on the Youtube video. It’s not a beeping sound like some say, more like a li’ll machine gun… ratatatatatatat…. there are about 4 phases, each about 5-8 seconds I think. After the 2nd phase, the nurse goes “halfway done”. Before the 4th phase, nurse goes “final section”. I like the countdown. Gives me expectations to work with. While my right eye was being done, i felt a tickle, like someone blew light cold wind in my eye while the laser was hitting it. Then Dr. Lee takes another object and replaces the flap. When he does so, the red light moves up and down and I get a little confused where to look and he goes “don’t squeeze your cornea! don’t squeeze!” I don’t even know I am squeezing. So I try to keep still and he puts the flap back and I can see some scraping action (from the Youtube video, I know it is him evening the flap out). It tickles. He puts some liquid on it and goes “congratulations, you have a new eye! Now let’s start on the 2nd one”.
The left eye is much easier…maybe cos I know what to expect and for some reason, I don’t feel anything, no tickle, no cold wind, nothing. I am able to keep my eyes still even after the red light moves and Dr Lee puts the flap back on. But gosh, the lights! So bright it hurts! That’s it! Dr. Lee says “Congratulations! Graduation!” The nurse lifts me to a sitting position, and bloody hell! I can see the room! Everything’s still hazy, “everything will look hazy for a while” the nurse says, echoing what I am thinking. And I go “wow! this is crazy! wow! thank you!” and I am guided outside to the darkened room just like the patient before me to rest my eyes.
It doesn’t stop there. So yeah, remember how I said I didn’t feel anything more than a tickle or a gush of cold wind or a slight burning sensation? WELL. After the numbing drops stop numbing, comes a searing burning pain that tears your eyes up. My right eye more than the left eye. I can see stuff but the pain gets gets so bad that I can hardly open my eyes. All I am thinking is “motherfucker! motherfucker! this fucking motherfucking hurts!! What the fuck! No one told me about this!” I learn later that this happens to 50% of patients. It is mostly my right eye that was hurting me, so I guess it happened to 50% of my eyes. Even though I am sitting in the darkened room, I still find it glaring and put my darkest sunglasses on (I brought 2, one darker than the other just in case) and I still needed to cover my eyes with my hands while wiping the tears away. Motherfucker!
About 1/2 hour later, I am brought into another room which was bloody sunny. I sit and wait for Dr Lee to come look at my eyes. I have to sit backwards facing the wall cos it hurts soooo bad. I can barely open my eyes. The nurse keeps assuring me it’s okay it’s okay, it’ll wear off. After about 10 agonizing minutes, Dr Lee comes back looks into my eyes. Fucking hell, it hurts to open them! He has to shine a light into them too! Ouch! I apologize for the wincing, but I am assured once again that it’s normal and will go away.
Now I go out and make my payment and try to frantically call my father (who is supposed to pick me up, but isn’t there yet). I’m tearing, I can barely open my eyes, it hurts and I just wanna go home and doze off from the drugs. I fumble with my wallet and give my credit card. It is not accepted. Fuck? Later I realize that I forgot to increase my credit limit (I don’t usually spend much) and they let me pay tomorrow when I come back for the routine day-after check up. Thank you I tell them, almost crying, or well, I’m already tearing like crazy, from the pain. I call my father 5 times. Later he tells me that he was at a meeting and turned it on silent mode and kept it in his hand the whole time thinking it was on vibrate, but it wasn’t. Luckily he is already on his way after calling for 10 min which seems like an eternity and I get the nurse to escort me downstairs because I can barely open my eyes. She tells me to take 2 panadols with the sleeping pill. Thanks, Nurse!
Fucking hell! The sun is so bright! I have to bury my eyes in my hands. My poor father has to hear his daughter go “so pain! Wah lau! it hurts! it hurts!” I call Patrick and say “ohh it hurts! it hurts! motherfucker! motherfucker!” I decide to take the 2 panadols and the sleeping pill before I get home. Within 10 minutes (the car ride to my parent’s place is about 20 min…I decided to stay over at my parents’ the first night because I don’t need cat hair around me after eye surgery) I feel a little better. My father asks me what I want for lunch. I know I have to eat something to get a good sleep on the sleeping pill altho’ I am not hungry at all. There’s nothing to eat at home he says. Our easiest option…McDonalds. Boy I’m desperate to get home. I never eat McDs. He orders me a fish burger on the drive through.
When I get home, I’m actually feeling slightly better already. My father shuts the blinds in my room. I cherish the darkness like a vampire. He makes sure I’m okay before getting back to work.
in pain, beeyatch.
I take pictures of my pathetic self, knowing it’d be funny upon hindsight (it is). I can barely keep my eyes open for the picture. I eat my burger mechanically, change and put my eye sheild on. Unlike this chick that gets a funky pair of goggles, I get 2 plastic shields with scotch-tape to tape it on!
My hottest look ever.
So I tape it on tight and put my usual sleeping mask (I call it Blinky!) over the top to make sure I don’t see any light…
I don’t know why my lips look so puffed. Probably because I was biting on them the whole time.
…and am out like a light. When I get up about 3-4 hours later, magically, the pain is gone! No tearing (they warn of 12-24 hour tearing sessions), no bloodshot eyes, no dry eyes, no burning pain, no itch, nothing! It’s crazy. My vision is a little blurry, but already far clearer than what I have been seeing in the last 14 years. Crazy. So don’t let the above 5 paragraph scare you about the pain. It actually lasted only about 2 hrs, from post surgery to bed. When I woke up, it is gone as promised.
So my mummy buys me dinner, sayangs me (nothing like parent pampering to make you feel better in times like that). I eat mechanically (not too hungry), I pop another sleeping pill and off I am to bed again. I love sleep.
