Today is International Good Looking Day. Send this text to someone you think is gorgeous. Don’t send it back to me, I’ve had fucking hundreds.

Hubby’s outta town for a coupla days cos he has 2 extra days off before CNY and I don’t. Contrary to popular belief, PROOF! that the Chansidines aren’t joint at the hip. I sadly unlocked the door last night knowing he wasn’t gonna be home to greet me and I found a bunch of chinese new year flowers (what are they? blossoms? those tiny little pink ones) that he stuck on the window before he left with a sweet note in it.

*swoon*

I’m so easy.

Work has been intense lately. After 15 months on the job, I finally feel like I’m working. Relatively, anything I did preceding to this was just passive absorption of information (at times when I’m not copiously twiddling thumbs, that is). Due to the fact that there has been a massive shuffle within the department (old people moving overseas, new people coming in), I have taken (I choose to say taken, not been given, because I choose everything I do) extra responsibilities and am actually teaching other people things. And since I’m a firm believer that you learn more when you teach, I’m actually doing double-absorption (others teach me and me teaching others).

I love every single minute of it. Yesterday I learnt about modules behind our risk-rating software. Today I learnt about structuring unfunded equity swaps with things like Knock-Out and Knock-In barriers, all of which is a hedging mechanism for your underlying shares. If that’s not cool, I don’t know what is.

…goes to the 2 aunties at OUB Building Sakae Sushi.

Picture Sakae Sushi at lunch time (read: it’s crowded). There are 2 of us. Waitress leads us to our seats. One seat is at the very end of the row. On the left are 2 aunties. On their left is another empty seat. Got it? 2 aunties, one empty seat on either side of them.

So waitress takes the empy chair on the aunties’ left and brings it over to squeeze between right auntie and the end seat as such:

Common decency would have told me to automatically scoot on over to the left to make room for people because to the left of the CB aunties, there is a gaping hole. To the right of the empty seats is… the end of the table. The sushi bar has a set number of seats, so it’s not like we are taking more room than we should.

But CB aunties, being CB aunties, looked up, glanced at us and the waitress that brought the chair over, and proceeded to continue eating. So we are standing there, clearly having no room, and I tap Right CB auntie on the shoulder, "excuse me auntie, do you think you can shift over a little bit? would appreciate it very much."

Her reply:

"actually, we are already very cramped you know…"

KNNCCB"!!!!!!!!!! Thanks for letting me know your plight!

Eventually, they grudgingly scooted over 2 generous inches.

For my non-Singaporean readers: 

*CB = Chee Bye = singlish for (i have no need to direct you to a talking cock dictionary. I shall spell it out for you here) C-U-N-T

"KNNCCB = fuck your mother’s smelly cunt

^ so far.

I’m going to hafta start a new thread of Stupid Deals that I see popping up randomly across particularly Singapore. You know, one of those that don’t even save you anything, e.g. 1 pint for $5…5 pints for…$25! Whoohoo! Or those that save you so silly or little that they might as well DON’T give, e.g. "Lunch Special! Buy 1 drink for $2.50. U.P. $2.70. ONLY with purchase of main course!" Wahhh…so generous! The following is an example of the latter.

Today, we had Subway for lunch. And we got a Snap card! Ooo…what did I get? what did I get?

We Snap it…

Whoohoo! It’s free EXTRA BACON (with any purchase of a 6" sub/wrap/salad…but of course, you think they are gonna just give you a sliver of bacon on a plate?). Worth an astounding 80 cents! Our next Gift…

Whoohoo!! EXTRA CHEESE!! Worth an astounding 40 cents!! Wow!

And, and…note the fine print…."Not available at Singapore American School". hahahahahaha! *nyah nyah* Stupid Singapore American school kids…no free extra bacon nor cheese for YOU! Because…because….you’ll probably want the extra bacon or cheese???

*Warning: spoilers for Bad Santa and The Killing Fields* 

Remember Wayne’s World, where they had a few different endings for you to choose from? I kinda wished they had that for Bad Santa.

Anthony and I had a conversation about the importance of movie endings…a good ending won’t make a bad movie great, but it can make a good movie great, and an okay movie good. Bad Santa was one of those movies that bloody extra 5 minutes in the end was so obviously done after they gave a test audience a few different endings and surveyed which one would be more marketable.

Bad Santa’s depressing Big-Lebowski/Bukowski type was excellently played by sexy sexy Billy Bob Thornton. The movie had great pace, great conversation and the chemistry between Billy Bob and Brett Kelly (the fat kid) was just wonderful. And at the end, when Billy Bob rushes to get the Kid’s pink stuffed elephant to the door and gets shot down at the front door was just heart-wrenching. The screen goes black and you are like "wow! intense! geez! whatta great ending to a dark movie!"

…and then the screen re-opens with a letter from Billy Bob telling the Kid that everything’s all right, he got shot but he’s gonna recover, and the chick’s gonna be his mom and everyone’s gonna be happy.

NOOOOO!!!!!!!!

Not that I’m one of those film festival type critiques where I want everything to be indie-film chique. But man! It was sooo disappointing! The movie flopped from a A+ to a flat B for me. *phht*.

On the other hand, we watched The Killing Fields and the happy ending was wonderful (the fact that it was a true story helped). It was wonderful along the lines of Salvador wonderful, i.e. everyone should watch it to learn something about the history of our world. It was thoroughly engaging and taught you something about how Americans really fucked up in so many parts of the world.Haing S. Ngor was truly amazing, and reading about his actual history makes it all the more tragic. You survived a holocaust and end up getting shot by some street gang fuckers in a robbery? What a normal way to die.
 

So Li’ll Zion has a new, less distracting spot to sleep. Spot the Pussy:

And then, as I am looking at the picture on my computer, she remained at the same position, so I took another shot. Then I decided to take another shot with that shot:

As you can tell, my studying is very productive today.

Last night was fun. Studied till about half past midnight then took a shower and headed over to Zouk. It was annoying packed. I didn’t know Dave Seaman was such a big draw. It was alright. *shrug*. I can’t say it was bad cos I was movin’ and groovin’ quite a bit. But completely forgettable. I wouldn’t go out of my way to hear him play again. It was more the company I was with that made it a good night out. Before I knew it, it was 5am.

I am further convinced that alcohol is a horrid drug. At 1am walking into the club, I had to skip through about 3 people vomitting outside, with a girl completely passed out on the ground, cradled by her (I hope) boyfriend. There was a girl on the dancefloor slumped against a guy, barely able to stand with the guy propping her up by hugging her. We kept telling the guy to bring her outside, give her air and water and he just looked at us blankly and continued trying to prop her up. Then, the girl’s face lifted and my friend realized she knew her and took her out. The guy remained on the dancefloor. Then I realized that she probably never knew the guy. I am baffled. What an idiot (and I do mean the girl). In fact, all the wasted people slumped outside are idiots, absolute idiots.

My CFA study buddy.

 She’s not very encouraging.

It’s been a peacefully happy first week so far. Notable notables:

1. NYE: Amazing house party (read: amazing house amazing party) invited by Sudhir V, hosted by eng/un su, music provided by Radiance Crew. The house was probably the most spectacular I have seen in Singapore.

2. Then on to dancing till 1030am for Danny Tenaglia, breaking last year’s record by 2 hours.

3. Steamboat dinner ‘picnic’ with the parents and family friends at Changi beach.

4. New people in the office with whom I’ll work with this year and with whom I really like already and feel very very positive towards.

5. Dinner with 1 HOOB (mine) and 2 BOOBS Alec and David at Lau Pa Sat. Enjoying quote of the night "I generally like penises" – Alec.

6. The weather. Breezy, cool, mild monsoon. Frequent showers that cool the island down without the thunder/lightning I hate.

7. The HOOB is away this weekend. He just had to get outta Singapore he said. So he took a trip to Mersing this weekend and has enjoyed biking around, he says. Solo moi wished to stay in S’pore and not deal with causeway jams, hence goes for lovely 2-latte session with Anthony at Spinellis (the best latte I have had in Singapore…the milk foam remains foamy even after you finish your drink! amazing!) on Friday night…2-lattes = very wired kellykelly…very. Zouk thereafter was boring and shite (DJ Gregory had no clue how to use the new sound system the way Danny T did. Blasphemous). Swimming for an hour today and finally getting some tan back between interspersing showers and sun.

8. Studying for CFA (which I strangely enjoy now, but am already quite nervous with the mass of material that awaits my studying).

One another note:

I risk xiaxuelosis (i.e. sounding absolutely insensitive…btw, on the occasional times I have read that blog, I have no respect for what that girl has to say, increasingly so. She was kinda funny to start with, but these days, someone should really stuff that foot deeper into her mouth to shut her up) with what I am about to complain about. Given that I live in a pretty old HDB estate, we do have more than a few old people living around here. We have been living here for more than a year, but particularly for the past few months, we have had funerals set up at our block downstairs pretty much every other week. It’s weird. The tent goes up for about 5 days, then it comes down and by the next week, you see another tent. Bizarre. *knock wood*.

Anyway, so they are mostly traditional Taoist-type funerals. And I really don’t mind the chanting we hear usually nightly for each funeral. I really don’t mind Some of them actually sound very zen-like and meditative. And it adds to ang moh’s exotic foreign living experience (given that it’s one of the few things Singapore seems different from any other sub-urban downtown really). And I really respect the clingclankbamboom tradition that comes with each funeral. And I understand that there are superstitions that must be mitigated underlying each session. And it how it really shows how filial the children are to their deceased parents when they put on a good show (actually, scatch that last one. I don’t respect that cockballs. You treat your parents well when you/they are living. I’ve seen/heard about too many that treat their parents like shite and think it’s all okay when they hire people to cry loudly for them during the funeral. phht. too each his own. I digress…). But to chant (kinda yell actually) from 10am-2pm on a Saturday into a microphone with loudspeakers is a little too much. And they are starting again now at about 715pm. Okay, that’s all. Tolerance with my community, tolerance with my community, tolerance with my community….