Oh, yeah. I will be leaving for Europe (Paris-Barcelona-Madrid-Bordeax-Paris…tentatively) in about 10 hours. Direct flight to Paris in 16 hours. Whee! Yay modern transportation.

Looking forward to an obscene amount of fun. Yay youth.

I love great designs. My new Northface backpack (the big backpacker’s type) is awesome. The design is just perfect. All for $68 at the Northface outlet. Marked down from $195. It was probably made by factory ladies in China at the cost price of 5 bucks. But it still feels like a great deal. The guy at the Outlet counter apparently designed that very backpack when he worked at Northface. And he spent 10 minutes demonstrating to me all its features, while a single line of customers formed behind me. But he was so enthusiastic about it that I fell in love with the bag even more. It fulfils all my needs. I managed to pack 2 weeks worth of stuff in there (zip-lock bags are the key to packing, really. Zip-lock bags…another great invention), with space to share. And it all compresses into one nice package. That I can carry on my back, or use the oh-so-practically-sewn straps at the side and carry like a normal duffel. And it comes with a detachable smaller backpack that I can carry-on the plane and take it with me as I tour around and use as a campus backpack when I return. It’s perfect.

I’m looking at the HP-laptop keyboard I’m typing on now and am wondering why on earth they don’t put the page-up/down keys next to the arrow-up/down keys like my own Acer keyboard does. It’s a simple convenient little feature. As people scroll up or down, they would probably alternate between the up-down arrows and the faster page-up/down keys right? Or am I the only one? And the backspace key is not next to the delete key, which is another feature that my Acer keyboard has…when you wanna erase something, you are either using the backspace key to erase backwards, or delete keys to erase letters in front. Logically, people would alternate between the two, and the two that performs such similar functions should be next to each other. Right? Right? Or is it just me again? Maybe I’m just used to my own keyboard. But all-of-the-above just feels so logical to me.

How perfect is this present? And the moment was just perfect too.

So I was bitching to Douglas yesterday about stupid Techsavings. Specifically for my Europe vacation (I leave on the 30th), I ordered an extra memory card (128 fun-filled MBs) from buy.com, which arrived early this week, and an extra battery from techsavings for my Kelph, which was, I discovered, sent out only yesterday, which meant that I’m not gonna get it before I leave, which defeated the whole purpose. So I was gonna have to refuse the package, get a refund and probably find it in Europe or something.

And Douglas walks over to his bag and hands me a brand new battery that he got for me days ago.

He’s my angel and hero right now.

*smile*

Ooo…this is fun! I realize I know how to put pictures up here. Yay technology. A Luddite (learnt that word from here), pas moi.

I was sifting through the tons of pictures I took with my Kelph. And I realize I miss my parents tons. This picture struck me somehow. I really like their expressions (and they’re one gorgeous couple, are they not?) And my Mummy has this cute habit of pressing her face reallyyyy tight against mine whenever we take pictures nowadays.

Family-time is strange. We get on each other’s nerves when we’re in close proximity for too long a period, but we still love and miss each other when we’re not together. I’ve really the most awesome parents.

I wrote about my parents in an email to Douglas recently: "I just do think very highly of my parents. Maybe that’s why I adore my brother this much too. I think with such great parents, it’s kinda hard to go very wrong. They were incredibly strict with us when we were young, but knew how and when to let go at the appropriate times of our lives. I do still believe I’m kinda fucked up in the head sometimes, with weird propensities, but not in an awful life-corroding way. So it’s really kudos to them. I’m lucky…I do have a very cool family. I do adore them all. That’s why I keep taking pictures of them. I keep wanting to capture every candid expression on their faces…There’s something about loving people and wanting to capture their natural expressions. I love my Kelph for letting me do that."

Maybe in my Asian way (where we never explicitly express love…yeesh, I don’t even feel comfortable typing that word when referring to family. Nothing wrong with that. It’s a cultural thing/habit.), I put that snippet of an email out here to indirectly let them know that I do *ahem* love and miss them. Even though my (sometimes) aloof/moody/bitchy self projects otherwise.

Oh, here’s a stupid little thing I did with my Kelph (digital camera). I took a picture of my actual desk in my room and used it as a desktop wallpaper on my laptop. An actual desktop as my desktop. How cheesy is that? But aww, my Kelph is just the coolest thing to play with! Here’s my messy desktop:

I’ve never placed pictures up here before. I hope this turns out ok

I spent 4 hours at The Canvas Gallery in the afternoon and another 5 hours at Barnes & Nobles in the night reading ‘Anna Karenina’. My eyes hurt. But that book is just blowing my mind.

I tend to judge the greatness of a book by how messy the book gets with my underlining/notes…whenever I read something that makes me nod my head, or gets my brain ticking, I mark it out. A habit that came from Mr Purvis, which is, I think, a nice li’ll habit to have. I get quite weird about it too, at times furiously underlining it two, three times, as if that’ll make sure I’d never forget that passage, because I don’t want to. Then you see 3 lines, with little asteriks with circles around them at the side of the book. You should see the inked mess I’ve made in this book. I’ve had people ask me why I do it ("you’re not reading it for school are you? Why are you making notes?"), and have had tons of you-are-strange looks from it. Screw ‘em. Because certain passages strike me at particular episodes of my life, and it’s interesting to pick out a book 2 years after I read it and wonder why I marked that passage out. Because when I highlight, make little notations, or put dates down, that only I would understand, I remind my 2 year older self why I marked it out and remember certain significant events in my life then and understand my actions and previous perceptions more. Because that passage is just so brilliantly written, and makes me understand what true genius is, and makes me feel so incredibly stupid, that I just have to mark it out, and maybe quote it later when it applies, because I’d never ever be able to achieve that great level of writing and expression.

And ‘Anna Karenina’ is just chock full of beautiful passages. Just astounding, weird, subtle, amazing observations about people. He takes you on an adventure…with every character in the book, he makes you change your mind about them all the time, he makes you hate them (I’ve a few "bitch!" notations I write on impulse regarding certain annoying characters in the book. And again, you ask, how weird/sad is this Kelly? Well, this weird/sad.), love them, feel sorry for them, feel contempt, grief, hope, joy (many times all at once)…above all, he makes us understand them. There’s just so much literary analysis to be done about that book, but I don’t wanna go into that because whatever I write about it can never do this great novel justice. Plus, there’s tons of it out there already. Plus, I hate literary jargon/bullshit. Well, granted, people who truly can emphatize and write can do it well, and do well to help me further understand the novel. But there are many that kill the simple joys of reading and understanding with (attempted) high-brow literary shite. Plus I doubt my ability to do the former, and fear my propsensity to fall into the latter because I’m incapable of the former. So I’d rather just read and enjoy (and write in the most general terms in my blog my genuine feelings about this book: I LOVE IT)

I feel for this book the way I feel for ‘The Mill on the Floss’ by George Eliot. I see myself picking up this book 10 years later, trying to understand myself through the lives of these fictional characters. Maybe I’m falling into the trap of falling in love with fiction. But you can get so much understanding of human behavior and character through reading great works like that. And I’ve discovered that I not only enjoy applying what I learn through reading to my real life interactions and observations, I need that. That’s why I can’t go long without itching for something great to read. I get into phases where I haven’t had the time to read/reflect/introspect and I get uncomfortable…like I’m letting life and my actions pass me by without significance or thought. It’s that anal (and narcissistic) part of me that wants and needs to understand everything about me, and the people I interact with. Screw all that Dr. Phil/Oprah shit. Really. I’ve seen them. Oprah’s ok, cos I like her somehow. But that Dr. Phil irks me. That preachy self-righteous air about him is just so annoying. They spend the entire hour explaining to just the most clueless people why they’ve acted the way they act, or why they are the way they are, and ‘reveal’ to them some great self-revelation shit in this grand way, like it was this big mystery they reveal, but it was so blatantly obvious in the first place. To me at least. Uh-oh, am I falling into the intellectual-snobbery trap (lah-di-dah, I read all these books, I’m so smart)? Maybe. I try not to though. But I’m highly irked by people who state the obvious, not as the obvious, but as some great statement that they and only they have discovered and want to project to the rest of us mediocre people. Bah. Then I just become an ass and say "geez, dude…just pick up a good classic novel and read it. It’s all there already. You think you’re smart? Read this."

So in my complete admiration and love for genius, I am in danger of (a) complete self-depracation, (b) impatience and (c) intolerance:
(a) because I now know genius, and know my own sad sad mediocrity. Alas! To be the mere appreciator. Ah well.
The only way I can describe (b) is like having a favorite song that you really really like, and you are asking your friend to listen to it. And your friend just goes, "yeah, it’s fine". Of course he’s not gonna be liking it as much as you do, because songs have such individual effects. But you can’t believe that such a great song should be so un-appreciated. And you go "no no no, you don’t understand! Wait! Listen to it again! Listen to this part! Lemme rewind it for you. You need to love this song as much as I do! I’m getting such joy from it, I want you to love and enjoy it too!" But it’s all in vain, and you know it. So I’m reading all these absolutely great books, and having just so much fun, and learning so much from them, that I just want everyone to read too! Well, ok, so tons of people read much more than I do, and are far more intelligent in comprehending and apply what they read. And there’re tons of people out there who introspect and apply their own experiences and observations just as wonderfully without reading a single novel. So ok. I should just try to be less anal about (b)
(c)is what scares me, because I find myself increasingly intolerant of mediocrity. Not only my own (refer to (a)), but what surrounds me. Clueless people. Superficial people. People who think too highly of themselves when they ain’t shit. People who cannot understand other people. People who are intolerant of other people. Oops…isn’t that my own (c) then? That’s the scary part. If I’m intolerant of intolerant people, am I not the latter as well? Does that even make sense?

Okay, once again, I understand that placing the value of my self-worth on grades that, (a) say nothing about the level of intellect I possess (which is of a non-impressive standard, I know) and (b) don’t really matter on the grand scale of life, is delusory…

…but fuck sensibility and yay transient happiness: I got As for both Game Theory and History (of modern China). While I’m still waiting my grades for my 2 other courses, I’m already swimming in self-congratulations. So forgive and ignore me while I allow myself to insufferably indulge in myself for a while. Just because I worked my ass off for it. Hurrah Hurrah. I couldn’t have gotten myself a better Christmas present.

Merry Christmas all!

So me and Alex were talking a nice 2-hour stroll down by Crystal Springs yesterday. After which, we trotted around the shops in San Mateo. He does have his moments:

On those plastic American flags they sell by the counter of every other grocery store: (picks one up and waves it around) Wheee! Now, I wonder if they sell Iraqi flags?

On the boxes of yoga sets, with I guess the mat, instructions, etc, in ‘em: So do they come with the wisdom too?

Maybe you had to be there…

I just want to give out one big fat ahhhhhhhh-sigh right now.

After the frenzy of the finals, brother’s graduation, more finals, parents’ visit with dinners, relatives, shopping, walks, day trips, drives, nagging, cooking, talking, eating, laughing, and all the good stuff that comes with the family, I now sit here completely alone in my room, fresh from the shower in my big stupid looking flannel pyjamas, listening to my mp3 playlist titled "Chill" (The Roots, Everything But the Girl, Morcheeba, Les Nubians, St. Germain, Stan Getz…), with my Tolstoy book waiting for me, and I’ve never felt more content.

Spending time with people I love and care for is awesome, but above all, they give me the security to truly enjoy my solitude.

Ok, so this is a weeeee bit disconcerting. I joined the Rice Bowl Journals site about a week ago cos I found the link to it on my friend’s blog, and the name cracked me up. So I found this whole community of blogs, many from Singapore too. Kinda interesting. I always thought blogs were known through and among friends and friends of friends. Then I click on the website today and see my face staring at me on their homepage. Apparently I’m "currently at No. 1". It’ll probably not be there by the time you get there. But it is still kinda freaky. I’d like to think it’s my picture that garnered the hits. That’ll be a nice li’ll self-delusion for the day. But I think the fact that I share the exact same moniker as this Hong Kong pop star, whom I don’t give a shit about but is apparently very popular in Singapore/Asia (and therefore, the "Rice Bowl Journals" (gee, that name still cracks me up and I don’t really know why) surfers), made people curious.

Sorry to disappoint.

But welcome to reading this