A Stranger in a Strange Land

I don’t really have time to read it carefully most days, but once in awhile one snippet comes by that makes me fall down laughing.

Suit: Goddamn piece of fucking shit.
Old lady: Geez.
Suit: What’s your fucking problem?
Old lady: The dumbing down of our language; everyone is so crude.
Suit: Where are you from, the Little House on the Prairie?
Old lady: I’m from New York, you fucking asshole.

–47th & 5th

I read The Sports Guy over at ESPN.com pretty often and he has this column about how he trades sports talk with other noteworthy people.

The latest column has him talking to Malcolm Gladwell, he of ‘The Tipping Point’ and ‘Blink‘ fame, and it was a pretty good read.

The talk’s not all about sports, as you can see from the excerpt below:

Simmons: Second question: Can you explain in one paragraph why you’re against Vegas?

Gladwell: Where to start? You get there. You can’t get a cab. Last time I waited 30 minutes in line at the airport. You get to your hotel, you wait another 45 minutes to check in. It’s 120 degrees outside, and inside it’s 45 degrees and all you can think about is there’s about to be a epidemic of Legionnaires Disease. The food is terrible. Everyone loses money — everyone. The amount of plastic surgery is terrifying. There are large packs of enormous, glassy-eyed people in stretch pants, pulling the levers on slot machines. (By the way, greatest and most under-appreciated gambling story ever: William Bennett, he of one best seller after another lecturing Americans on moral values and virtue and the bankruptcy of our culture, turns out not only to be a degenerate gambler, but a gambler who only played the slots. The slots! Had he been a great poker player — even a decent poker player — I’m in his corner. But the slots?) I digress. Back to Vegas: Why would I want to see Celine Dion, ever (and I’m Canadian)? Or white mutant tigers? Or the Village People? Or Tony Orlando and Dawn? I have more fun walking to the laundromat from my apartment in New York than I do in Vegas.

I can’t say I disagree with Gladwell totally, but I kinda like Vegas (in small doses) myself.

Ever wonder what you could tell your future self from your vantage point in time now?

Email your future self here

I’ve sent one out to myself already. Hope I am around to receive in 20 years.

It’s here. (~100 MB)

Not as funny as the first, and possibly seminal performance, but worth taking a look at. 

OK, search for ‘tomatoes’ on Google Images. Or click here if you’re too lazy.

And look at the second pic. Click on it to be transported into another world.

To quote the main page:

The website you are about to enter contains pictures and literature of an erotic fantasy nature involving Siamese twins.

Who knew there was such a thing as cojoined people porn?!?!

Would that be pornporn? 

Just started a collaborative blog with some of the Purdue gang.

Will be posting there from time to time.

Might be something that we keep around for awhile. Who knows?

the purdue diaries

I got this from my sister who got it from Mr. Brown …

And came up with this:

Go check it out!

I’ve had to explain my name countless times over the years.

"How you pronounce ah?"

"Say that again?"

The quizzical look the first time someone hears my name is something that I’m surprised NOT to see. Then my next line is "Yes, I know … I blame my parents".

Worst pronunciation I’ve ever heard: "Kee-wine" (this was someone announcing it in public somemore)

Actual pronunciation: Like Kevin, except with a W instead of a V. My family has a suspicion that I got my name because my dad says "volleyball" as "wolleyball", among other V words.

Most common pronunciation: "Ker-win". My friends don’t care. *sniff*

I’ve thought no one one would be cursed with the same name as me.

Google helped me find someone else with my name though. Meet my Swiss alter ego. Anyone care to translate?

He’s missing the hyphen but it’s close enough. Me is unique no more. Boo.

** Got the word pronunciation spelled wrong the whole time … Thanks to my mum who finally flexed her English Teacher muscles and spotted the mistake.

Clickity Click

You can click and drag to pull her in any direction you want, and she can squeeze into some pretty tight spaces too.

Google just keeps marching on …

Now you can zoom in on the moon baby!

(via Slashdot)